My occupation as an HCA and a CNA has paired me with some of the most profound elderly people. My clients have lived long, full lives and seem to be very happy for the most part despite living with terminal illnesses. One of my clients in particular, Barbara, is an absolute joy to be around. Out of all the months I’ve worked with her, I have never seen her bothered by anyone or anything. All of her encounters are warm and loving. Any time Barbara talks, she speaks with a genuine smile and an authentic tone, seeking to know people at their core. Nothing is surface level or superficial with her. I look forward to my weekend night shifts with her because each time I care for her, I always learn something new about life.

Barbara is 77 years old. Both of her parents passed away, she doesnt have any children or a significant other. She’s never been married, and the one sibling that she does have doesn’t engage with her. She doesn’t have any animals, and because she is a germaphobe, she limits the amount of opportunities to become close to new people. Barbara has lukimia, a slow growing cancer, a weakend immune system,short-term memory loss, and she doesn’t believe in God. Despite all of this, she is happy at her core. But how?

Her life would seem pretty lonely to your average family looking in. No husband to love on or to eat a meal with at the end of the day, no kids to care for or call to check in on, no animals to look after or recieve cuddles and support from either.

I learned that Barbaras happiness comes from within. It’s her state of mind and superb positive thinking that has her feeling as content as she does. When I asked Barb if she held onto any regrets or resentments, she looked at me with an odd expression.

“Gratitude,” she explained. And it’s true! The few friends that Barb does have she treats as family because to her, they are. When she engages with them, gratitude exuberates from her very essence because she is so thankful for their friendship, love, support, and comradery that their overall presence has had in her life.

Although her sister has held onto resentments over the years, Barb still calls her sister once every other week to tell her hello, that she loves her and misses her. She is always met with silence and no resolve, but despite this, Barb continues to call her with such love and humility. This takes a special type of individual. Somebody who is self-aware, kind, patient, and tolerant despite indifferences.

Barb has really harnessed the gift of seeing the best in people. She gives people the benefit of the doubt and doesn’t judge them. She has an authentic curiosity met with a profound acceptance for strangers when getting to know the caregivers that come into her home. Always making sure that we are cared for, too, by extending her gacious hospitality.

“It’s so important to live in the moment and cherrish those around you because you never know when it may be the last time you share with them.”

When asked what the most important thing was that she had gathered throughout life, she responded instantly. “Never stop learning, and be a better version of yourself tomorrow than you were yesterday.” This did not cease to amaze me as I am aware that Barb is a “go getter.” She has her Bachelors and Masters in geriatric social work and dental hygiene and anesthesia.

Each weekend night, after we are done sharing our stories and history with one another (which can go on for hours), I am always blown away. She sets an example for anyone striving to let go of old anger and resentment, especially towards family members. “As anger only hurts the person its harboring inside of, not the person it is directed at.” She teaches me humility and to be kind to anyone I come into contact with, always making sure I maintain a relationship with my parents.”Because they are the ones who gave me life.”

“Wake up every morning and give gratitude for the things that you have, and also during the night before you doze off.”
-Barbara L.